Saturday 14 January 2017

Riley and the Wizard

Riley and the Wizard

The world is a very old place, and it’s not always been as it is now. Today, we live in the era of science, but there was a time when nature and magic were the powers that governed the Earth. What is true now, was not known then, and what was true then has sadly been forgotten by most.

Over two thousand years ago, a boy called Eoin lived in a tiny village on an island called Ireland. To him, the village was his whole universe; a world complete, perched on the edge of a wild ocean. Although he'd not yet travelled further than a day’s walk, he’d heard stories of lands which lay across those vast waters, but he was sure they were nothing more than bedtime stories for children.

The land was covered in forest, while beautiful, was not without its pearls. The woods were home to Wolf, Bear, Eagle and Boar, all of which could slay a man if he were not careful. Then there were the other-world creatures; magical beings like elf’s, fairy’s, trolls and the like. Ireland was a kingdom of tribes, ruled by chieftains, and of course, the mystical ones. The enchantresses, the witches, the druids and the wizards.

Eoin’s clan was too small to have a chief, but his father was respected by all. We often led the men of the village into the woods, returning with meat for everyone. Eoin wanted to follow in his footsteps and become a great hunter, but he still had a lot of growing to do first. He was popular among the other youngsters in the village, but there was one he sought out more than most. Roisin was the daughter of the blacksmith and Eoin thought she was the most beautiful creature alive. The other boys teased him about her but he would rather cut out his tongue than tell her how he felt.

One day, the men were on a hunt and Eoin was watching over the goats, when he heard screaming coming from the village. He ran home as fast as he could and was horrified to see men rushing between the huts. Bandits, driven by hunger and greed, were raiding them. They must have watched the men leave before making their attack. Eoin rushed forward; his mind filled with only one person, Roisin. As he ran, he grabbed a bough from a wood pile. A raider was trying to drag a woman from her hut, and as Eoin neared, he swung the branch and bashed the man on the back of the head. The raider collapsed and the woman escaped; Eoin ran on. He came to Roisin’s home as four raiders closed in on it. He swung the stout timber and connected with one man’s jaw. He heard a satisfying crack as the bone broke. The other villains paused, circling outside his reach, then they rushed at him from all sides. He fought like a wild animal, but three on one was too much to cope with. A lucky blow caused one man to stagger away holding his forearm. Eoin felt something against his back and spun around. He was amazed to see Roisin there, swinging one of her father’s swords at the raiders. Side by side they fought; the battle might have lasted minutes or hours, time lost all meaning. As all strength ebbed from his arms, he heard his father’s voice calling his name. The men were rushing from the forest, coming to save them. The raiders fled; Eoin and Roisin collapsed in exhaustion, their chests heaving, and as he looked at her, he thought she’d never looked so beautiful. Right there, he promised himself he'd never look at another woman with love in his heart.

On the day he passed from boyhood, he approached Roisin’s father and asked to take her as his wife. The arrangement was welcomed by all and they were soon wed. After that, the young lovers were never apart, either by day or by night. They gazed on each other as if they alone existed. It might sound like a perfect existence, but there were troubles a plenty. Famine gripped the village, and all villages around them. Soon it was not only bandits who were trying to raid them, it was other tribes as well. A new moon didn’t rise without them having to fight off a new enemy. Many fell in the battle, but not Eoin; he rose to become greater than his father and protector of his people.

He won many victories, and with each defeated foe came the spoils of war. His tribes’ land grew out of all proportion, and those that survived battle were always given the same choice. Live with us in peace, or die by my hand. Eoin was a fair man, and a generous ruler. He had never wanted to be king, he only wished to protect the ones he loved. Others saw his selflessness and were drawn to it. They wanted to be with this man and were happy to call him Chief. In the end, he and Roisin found themselves guardians of all the people from the mountains to the coast. After ten long years, peace came.

Unlike most other Chieftains, Eoin never took another wife. Only Roisin would ever share his bed. A year after peace arrived, Roisin’s belly began to swell and soon the truth of her condition couldn't be denied. There was no happier man in all Ireland, than Eoin the Red. On the day of the birth, he waited outside their home, nervously pacing. He’d never felt fear like this, not in all the battles he’d fought. He listened to Roisin’s cries and vowed he'd never subject her to such pain again. He got even more scared when her cries suddenly stopped. He held his breath, then a child’s cry came and he nearly wept with relief. A wrinkled old nurse appeared and beckoned him inside.

The air was warm; steam rose from a pot of water which bubbled over the fire and Roisin held a swaddled bundle to her chest. She smiled as he rushed to her side.

“Are you good my love?” His first and only worry was for the woman who held his heart.

“Better than ever, look,” she said, holding out the bundle for him to take. He hesitated, afraid to take such a thing so tiny in his clumsy hands.

“A girl,” said the ancient nurse as she dipped a cloth into the bubbling pot.

“A miracle. Take her, she won’t break. She's as strong as her father,” Roisin said, still holding the baby in outstretched arms.

He looked down and saw the most perfect thing God or man had ever created. His heart swelled with love until it was fit to burst and he felt a tear creep close to his eye. He sniffed it away because, after all, he was the chief. He took the baby in his hands and knew his heart now belonged to two. A tiny hand extended from beneath the swaddle to wrap around the tip of his finger.

“She has the grip of a warrior,” he said, and smiled at Roisin.

“She's a fighter for sure, born of her father.”

“Born of royalty,” muttered Eoin, speaking to the baby.

“What? You’re calling her, Riley?” said the nurse, who was near deaf.

Roisin smiled and raised her eyebrows at him.

“Why not,” he said. “Riley fits her well.”

At the sound of her name the baby gurgled and gave the most powerful chieftain in the land a grin. This time, Eoin the Red couldn’t stop a tear spilling down his cheek to vanish in his bushy red beard.


In the years that followed, Riley not only captured the heart of her parents, but the hearts of everyone in the clan. Eoin the Red decided to move the seat of his kingdom west, looking to find a home he could better defend. He settled on Lough Tully. Lough is the Irish word for lake, and this particular lake was at the mid-point of Eoin’s lands. He built a Crannog Village; buildings raised above the water on stilts and connected to the mainland by a long bridge. This made surprise attack nearly impossible. As Eoin and Roisin’s empire grew, so grew the number of buildings connected to their home until Lough Tully became a floating city.

Riley grew into the most beguiling of girls. She had great beauty but lacked even a trace of vanity. Her love of nature, and her ability to weave happiness into any situation, brought joy to everyone she encountered. Most chieftains would pray for a son but Eoin thanked the great creator for the girl he’d been blessed with. He knew she would lead the clan when the time came. She was going to be more than capable because she had the best parts of both her parents. 

Turning nine was a huge milestone in any young person’s life, it marked the end of childhood and the beginning of something very important. It was the year a clan member began to earn their place among the elders. Riley’s ninth year was approaching and Eoin wanted to celebrate it in a manner that would never be forgotten. He decreed there should be a feast, unlike any seen before. He sent riders to the four winds with invitations for every; chieftain, king, druid, wizard and enchantress in the land. It would be talked of for a generation. 

Unknown to Eoin, on a cold and miserable morning, the messenger carrying an invitation for, Malten the Twisted, did something terrible. Malten was a cantankerous old wizard, but his magic was powerful, and he deserved respect from any man with a brain in his head. Esker Wood, the place he called home, was reputed to be haunted by a thousand uneasy demons, and as a result, was avoided by all. It was one of the most malevolent places in the whole of Ireland. The messenger stopped at the edge of the wood and tried to urge his mount forward. The horse rose on his hind legs and refused to go a step further. After a few tries the frustrated and frightened messenger looked over his shoulder. There was nobody for miles. Fear got the better of him and he reached into his pouch, withdrawing the invitation scroll and cast it into the edge of the wood.

“Find it if you want, I've brought it far enough,” said the messenger before galloping away. The wind caught the scroll and blew it deep into the woods where darkness and thorns eventually stopped its tumbling journey.

As the weeks passed, excitement grew and nobody was more excited than Riley. She'd been promised a new cloak to wear at the gathering and she secretly hoped her father would present her with a sword of her very own. As the celebration approached the nobles started arriving. On the day before the feast, the largest Ox in Eoin’s heard was slathered and mounted on a spit. It would take a full day to cook the huge beast. As night fell, Bo, an apprentice, was left in charge of turning the spit. The time passed slowly and in the darkest hour of the night, Bo’s eyes spotted a shadow moving toward him.

“Who’s there?” he cried, reaching for the club he carried to ward off Wolfs attracted by the smell of roasting meat.

“None but a weary traveller, cold from the night and tired from walking. May I rest by the warmth of your fire?” asked the shadow.

“Come closer so I can see you,” the boy said.

An ancient man shuffled into the ruby glow thrown out by the fire and Bo was annoyed at himself for being scared of such a pathetic individual. The man was so old he made the trees look young. His back was so twisted he could barely stand upright. As he walked, the few remaining strands of hair attached to his head swung to and fro.

“Sorry for my rudeness, grandfather, of course you can warm yourself," Bo said.

“Thank you, you are kind,” said the elder as he shuffled forward and eased himself onto the ground near the roasting pit. The old man stared into the embers and seemed to drift on a sea of his own thoughts. The spit creaked as Bo turned the handle and the stars slowly made their way across the sky. An hour later, a yawn escaped the boy’s lips. A little while after, came another.

“The hour is late,” said the old man.

“That it is, and many more to go before dawn,” said Bo, stifling a third yawn.

“Let me repay your kindness by turning the beast for a spell. You must be weary.”

The man was right, Bo’s arms were strong but they were aching. Perhaps ten minutes would be fine, as long as he kept watch on the man. “I’d be beholden to you,” said Bo, and the old man struggled to his feet. As he took the handle, Bo noticed for the first time how long the man’s fingers were, and how wickedly sharp his nails appeared to be. Bo settled himself on the warm ground and watched. The ever-circling animal, combined with the heat, soon made his eyes close.

When Bo woke, he had no idea how long he’d slept but the old man was gone and the Ox flesh was spitting above the glowing fire. One side was nearly black having not been moved in a while and Bo jumped to the handle. He cursed himself for being so stupid and trusting a stranger with his duty. He turned the beast not letting the burnt section dwell above the flames. By the time morning came, even Bo couldn't tell the burnt patch from the rest and he breathed a sigh of relief.  He wondered why the old man had vanished without waking him. The truth of the matter would have been clear if Bo had only seen what happened when he closed his eyes. The beggar was no beggar at all, he was Malten the Twisted. His lack of invitation was an insult that stung him to the core and he desired vengeance. As soon as Bo had fallen asleep, he’d stopped turning the beast and dipped his hand into the folds of his cloak. He withdrew a magical powder which he sprinkled over the roasting flesh while reciting an ancient incantation. Magic seeped into every ounce of the meat and once the rite was complete, he simply vanished into the shadows.




The day of the feast was a sight to behold. The banquet was due to begin with the last cock crow in the evening and continue until dawn. Riley couldn’t contain herself and constantly dashed into the kitchens to pick at the fruits and berries piled high on the dishes. The cooks ran after her playfully swiping at her escaping bottom with cooking sticks, but she was far too nimble for them. By mid-day, she was stuffed to the gills but still kept picking. As the elders gathered, her full tummy turned sour and was starting to churn. Noticing her discomfort, and the green tinge to her skin, her father drew her to one side.

“Are you feeling alright, Riley?” he asked softly.

“Yes, Father. I’m fine, just a belly ache.”

“You don’t look well,” he said, resting a hand on her swollen tummy and the pressure made Riley wince. He looked at her and raised his eye brows making it clear he was not taken in by her deception.

“All these people are here for me. How can I be sick?” she said cried.

“They’ll still be here, even if you take a rest. When you feel better, you can join in the celebration. It will last long enough,” he said, kissing her on the head.

“Are you sure, Father?”

“Go,” he said with a laugh and turned her toward her bedroom. His swiping fingers were much quicker than the cooking sticks and caught her playfully as she hurried away.

When she woke, it was already getting bright. She realised she must have slept all the way through her party and was furious that nobody had woken her up. They'd let her miss all the fun and she felt like crying. She jumped out of bed and rushed onto the deck. It was very quiet, and that made her worry because the world was never this quiet. She reached the great hall and what she saw was straight out of a nightmare. There were bodies everywhere; piled one on top of the other, not one of them moved. Plates were still laden with food, goblets overflowing with ale, some candles still flickered as they burned to the quick.

She soon found her mother and father slumped side by side at the head of the table.

“Wake up, wake up!” she yelled, over and over again as she shook them but nothing changed. They were warm and breathing deeply. Why wouldn’t they wake?

That was when she heard someone coming at a run. It appeared she wasn't the only one left. A few seconds later, a young boy came racing into the hall. He skidded to a stop when he laid eyes on all the bodies. He was followed in by Ruairi. Seeing him made Riley's heart leap. Ruairi was the next best thing to having her father here. He'd been part of the clan for years, even longer than her father had been Chieftain. Now he looked after her father's stables. Ruairi rushed forward and scooped Riley up in his strong arms and hugged her to his chest. The boy regained his composure and began moving between the bodies trying to raise them from their stupor.

“What is going on? What's happened to them?” she cried and buried her face in Ruairi’s neck.

“I don’t rightly know, child, but it’s a wicked unnatural thing. Magic of some kind is all I can think,” the old man said. 

“They are alive,” said the boy, dropping his head onto a man’s chest to listen for a heartbeat.

“We have to wake them, Ruairi. We must do something!” said Riley, drawing her head back so she could look at him. Her face was wet with tears and she was so very frightened. It must have shown because the old man’s expression went from confused to sorrowful.

“I’m a simple horse man, Riley. I know nothing of magic except that it’s best avoided.”

That answer wasn't good enough. Riley wanted him to know what to do, he was all she had right now. "There must be someone who can help?”

Ruairi seemed to think for a few minutes and looked around the room. Something must have occurred to him because he quickly got to his feet. “Perhaps. Wait with Bo, I’ll return soon.”

The old man hurried away and Riley went to sit beside her parents. She stroked her Mother’s long black hair and sobbed quietly as Bo stood to one side, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t long before the old stable master returned with a healer woman hurrying behind him. She spent some time examining the sleeping people before looking to Ruairi and shaking her head sadly. “They’ve been enchanted, there is nothing I can do.”

“There must be something!” cried Riley.

“I only wish that were true. I can heal wounds, and kill a fever, but this is something else entirely. This malady is not of nature’s making, it’s a dark magic and can only be cured by one thing…magic. It’s not a healer you need, it’s a druid.”

“If it’s a druid we need, then we must fetch one without delay,” said Riley talking with the adults as if she were one herself.

“Would that it were so easy, little one. Every mystic in this part of the world lies here, slumbering,” said the old man, throwing his arms open to encompass the crowd filling the room. She had to admit the truth of what he said, anyone who was in anyway powerful have been invited to the celebration.

“There must be someone,” she said, beating her hands against the old man’s chest, not willing to give up hope. He took her in his arms and held her as she sobbed. Then the healer woman spoke.

“It’s said, there's a witch in the mountains to the north who never leaves her home. Perhaps she can help, if she exists that is.”

“Can you get her and bring her here, Ruairi?” asked Riley and she thought her heart would break when the old man shook his head.

“I’m an old man. It takes me half the morning to get from my hut to your father’s stables. If he were not such a kind person, I would have been cast me aside years ago. That’s why he gave me Bo to assist in my duties. I fear I'd not be able for the journey, and if something happened to me, who would come then? Also, who will guard our kin while they are laid so low? My duty is here.”

“Well if you won’t go, I'll have to go myself,” she said, defiance making her words sharp.

“You can’t, it’s too dangerous. Your Father would never allow it,” said Ruairi, crossing his wrinkled old arms over his chest. Riley gave the old man a stern look, she loved him like an uncle but that wasn’t going to stop her doing what she must. Her father had fought when he was no older than she was. Now it was her turn.

“I’m not a child anymore, and like you said, who else can go. My family needs me, I’m not going to let them down,” she said, her eyes were red from crying but now they also glowed with determination. She would not just stand by and wait. Something had to be done and wishing for a solution would not make one appear.

“I’ll go with her,” said the boy who had been standing to one side listening. They both looked at him and he puffed out his chest but there was trepidation in his eyes.

“You’re not much older than Riley,” scoffed the old stable keeper, a scold which hurt the boy’s feelings. There was no question in Riley’s mind, she was going with or without the old man’s blessing. If Bo wished to come, he was more than welcome.

“Time is wasting, we better ready ourselves for the journey,” said Riley and walked toward the door with the boy hot on her heels. It didn’t take her long to gather her bow and some warm clothes. When she crossed the bridge, Bo was already waiting for her with a club made from the knotted root of an ash tree.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” he replied confidently, patting the handle of his weapon. A noise came from behind them and they turned as one.

“The miles will pass quicker on these,” said Ruairi, as he led two of her father's best horses toward them. Draped across their haunches were food sacks and water skins. Riley had never owned a horse but she could ride as well as anyone. Bo lived with these beasts every day and easily vaulted onto his mount. Ruairi helped Riley up and patted her leg when she was settled.

“Take care of each other,” said the old man.

“Take care of my family. We'll return as quickly as we can,” she said, mimicking the way she'd heard her father speak. Confidence and authority colouring her words. The youngsters galloped north and Riley tried her best to sit tall but she couldn’t help feeling like a little girl pretending to be all grown up.


For most of the day they rode north, only stopping to let the horses graze and rest by a river. Bo ate a little of their food and tried to encourage Riley to do the same, but she refused. She was too worried to eat. In one day her whole world had been turned on its head, now she had nobody to rely on except a stable boy and an ancient horseman.

As night fell, Bo spotted a large pond and suggested camping there. It was as good a place as any so she agreed. Riley tended to the horses while Bo collected wood to start a fire. He was good with a flint and soon had smoke curling up from the kindling. When darkness fell the flames were strong and warming.

“I’ll take the first watch,” said Bo, trying to be her protector. She was having none of it. He may be a boy but that did not make him any more capable than she.

“I don’t think I can sleep; it would be best if I stand first watch and wake you when I get tired,” she said. The boy saw sense in this and nodded his head. He wrapped himself in his cloak and lay in the warm glow of the fire. In no time he was breathing deeply. Riley sat with her back to a tree and gazed into the flames. She felt so sad, so alone, and if she were honest, she was terrified. She didn’t feel herself drift off into sleep, but sleep she did.

A twig snapped and Riley’s eyes fluttered open. The night was deathly quiet, which was a bad sign. When danger was near all the tiny forest creatures hold their breath. She stilled herself, breathing gently and listened. Away to her left, a branch moved and leaves rustled. Something was circling the camp. That was when the breeze carried the stench of animal to her nose.

“Bo,” she hissed. The boy mumbled in his sleep but didn’t wake. “Bo,” she said, a little louder this time and the boy woke.

“What is it?”

Riley pointed into the woods; her eyes big but her lips remained tightly pressed together. Bo reached for his club and got to his feet. Riley let her hand drift to the bow and she slotted an arrow on the string without having to look at her fingers. The fire had dwindled and only glowing embers remained. Another bush shook. Whatever it was, it was big. She hoped it was a deer, but she doubted it.

When the undergrowth parted her worst fears were confirmed. A huge brown bear swung his head side to side, looking from Bo, to Riley, and back again. Its shiny muzzle sniffing the air, saliva dripping from its yellow fangs, its rubbery lips rolled back to reveal its gaping throat. It let out a roar and threw itself up on its hind legs. The animal was twice as tall as they were, and it had the eyes of a killer.

Bo was rooted to the spot, he moved neither forward nor back, as the beast reared over him. Riley was just as frightened but she was also angry. Angry at whoever had bewitched her family, angry at being forced out across strange lands, angry at the bear for looking to eat them…just plain angry. She drew back her bow string as far as she could and let her arrow fly. The shaft struck the bear in the face just as it gave another huge growl. The arrow passed straight through the cheek and hung from the beasts gaping mouth. It was far from a fatal blow but it clearly hurt. The roar changed into a squeal of pain, a sound which freed Bo from his prison of fear. He raced forward swinging his club while Riley let loose another arrow, this one struck the animal square in the shoulder but failed to penetrate. The beast struck out at Bo, its razor-sharp claws passing a fraction from the tip of his nose. Bo lashed out at the beast and this time he connected with the injured mouth, driving the arrow a little deeper. The Bear roared and dropped to all fours, charging away into the undergrowth, swinging his head violently side to side as if he was trying to dislodge the pain he felt.

Riley and Bo stood shoulder to shoulder, looking at the undergrowth where the bear had vanished. Her body hummed with tension but that passed quickly and shakes ran through her arms and legs. She looked at Bo and noticed he was shaking too. Her Dad had often spoke of the great strength he felt during battle and how it left him drained afterwards. That was how she felt now, drained.

“We'd better build up the fire again, he might come back,” said Bo, his face had gone very white. She felt so cold it was like the night was trying to get at her bones. She hung her bow around her shoulders and followed him along the lake shore picking up dead branches to feed into the flames.

Throughout the night they took turns keeping watch, jumping every time a breeze moved a branch fearing the injured bear was returning to rip them limb from limb. Thankfully he never came. They both managed an hour or two sleep which was better than nothing. When the sun rose, they checked their bearing and set off north once more.

As they travelled, they passed several settlements and were greeted by more than a few people. The villagers were curious and asked why such youngsters were traveling alone, but Riley insisted they avoid answering such questions. She was sure it would be far too dangerous for her sleeping kin should word of their tragedy become common knowledge. The last thing she wanted was a hoard of bandits descending on their lands when it lay unguarded. All they said too any who questioned them was, they’d come from the south and had business in the mountains to the north. Simple and true. They got more than a few disbelieving looks but none tried to stop them continuing on their journey.

On the third day the heavens opened and rain drenched them to their skins. Riley had never seen such a torrent in her life. The drops were as big as robin’s eggs and each seemed to have ice crystals at their core. Both she and Bo had their cloaks wrapped tightly around them, and despite having the warmth of a pony between their legs, they shivered uncontrollably. When they finally saw the great northern mountains, they were capped with a roof of black cloud. Bo was beside himself with joy at having reached their destination, but Riley was less than delighted. The mountains stretched from horizon to horizon and the Witch might be on any of them. They were no closer to finding help than they had been, three days ago. As luck would have it, an old woman chose that moment to come limping around a bend in the trail.

“Excuse me, Mother, I have a question,” said Riley as the woman came alongside her horse. The woman paused and looked at the child riding a man’s horse. Riley dismounted so she would be at eye level with the old lady. It was only then that she noticed how thin the woman was, painfully so. Her cheeks were sunken and her eyes bulged in withered sockets. Riley knew that the poor retch was starving. The old woman looked at her with yellowed and nervous eyes. Riley turned back to her pony and retrieved a packet of food. The woman’s eyes grew huge as the parcel was placed in her hand and she devoured the contents. Riley waited until the food was gone, and the woman’s composure returned.

“Thank you, my child, you are truly kind,” said the old woman,
 bowing deeply.

“Are you from these parts?”

“I’ve lived all my life in the shadow of these hills,” said the old woman, throwing a less than loving glance over her shoulder.

“We’ve travelled a long way to find a mystic woman. Would you know of her?”

The old woman’s eyes became slits, and she looked at Riley hard before answering. “A mystic you call her? Witch would be a better name. She'll do you no good. You’re best off going back home and forgetting this silly idea.”

“Going back is not an option for us and any help you could give would make our journey shorter. It would be a blessing. Could you even direct us toward the right area?”

“Kind girl, take my advice and leave that place undiscovered.”

“Even if it were to cost me my life, I must find this woman,” said Riley letting the woman see both her pain and her resolve in the matter. The old woman thought and her eyes softened. She turned slowly and pointed up the face of the mountain which rose above them.

“Close to the top, there is a hollow, as if some huge beast had taken a bite out of the mountain. There you’ll find her. You’ll not miss her for she’s the only living thing on that whole mountain. Nothing but crows and the she-devil dwell there,” said the woman and she spat on the ground, as if the mere mention of the Enchantress left a nasty taste in her mouth.

The old woman hurried away, her eyes cast to the ground. Riley called after her, “Would you take some food?” but not even the offer of rations would make the woman slow her flight from the home of the witch.

“What kind of place are we going?” asked Bo. Clearly, the woman’s reaction had frightened him. What had seemed a straight forward task had taken on a sinister note. They might be facing something far more dangerous than a hungry bear.

“I don’t know, but we must keep going,” she said, throwing her leg over her horse then urging it forward. 

The path began to rise steeply. As they travelled higher, the trees grew sparse, then vanished altogether. A sea of bracken flowed across the mountain, as thick and unforgiving as any fortress. If it were not for the path they would have been stopped in their tracks. Each step took them closer to the black cloud hanging above them. The rain eventually thinned until it became a mist and hung in the air like a living thing, reaching out to chill any exposed skin. Near the summit, even the bracken vanished, only bare rock remained.

The path petered out in a field of scree; the remains of boulders shattered by a millennium of harsh weather. They tethered their horses and continued the climb on foot. They had to use both hands and feet to make any progress up the steep mountain side. At last, they crested a ridge and spotted a tiny house built in the darkest part of the bowl-shaped hole. Riley was the first to start down, Bo fell in behind her. There was no sign of life as they approached the dwelling. The door was made of tortured branches, interwoven at impossible angles. Riley studied it and could see no joins or pegs holding it together. She rose her hand to knock but the door swung open by itself. She looked inside, but the interior was completely black. There were no windows, and the weak daylight refused to go past the open door.

“Come,” a voice said from the dark. The word was so quite it might have been a whisper in her mind. Bo drew back a step, but Reily steeled herself and went on. It was like diving into a container of pitch. She couldn’t see her own hands stretched out before her. The house looked tiny, but inside, echoes rang into the distance.

“We mean no trouble,” she said.  “We’ve come to seek your help.”

“Help? No one ever comes here, for help,” replied a whisper in the darkness.

“We have. We’ve come a very long way to talk to you.”

Riley felt something brush her hand and even in the dark, she knew it was Bo. He whispered in her ear, “Offer a reward.”

The voice in the darkness chuckled, “Reward. Clever boy.”

“Our clan, my Father, has fallen under a spell. His name is, Eoin the Red and our lands are rich. If you break the spell he will rewarded handsomely,” she said.

“Ha! What good are riches to the likes of me? What is a treasure to one, is tiresome to another?”

“Please you've got to help us!” she cried.

“Silence! I do nothing but what I choose,” snapped the voice. Riley stood still and held her breath. She listened to feet sliding over stone as the enchantress moved. It was hard to pick out her position, she seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at once.

“What kind of ailment has lowered them?” the voice asked at last.

“They sleep without waking,” explained Riley.

“How interesting. How many slumber?” Riley could hear the witches' voice change. Something about this intrigued her.

“Two hundred, perhaps more. My clan and all the nobles who had gathered to celebrate my coming of age.”

“Amazing! A truly remarkable feat. I knew it had to be an act of epic proportions when I felt the ripples so far away,” said the voice. She was closer now and there was no mistaking the excitement she felt.

“We desperately need your help. Can you break the spell,” cried Riley? It was frustrating speaking to someone she couldn’t see.

“You know nothing of our ways. What you ask is impossible,” snapped the voice, annoyed at being questioned by one with no qualification to do so.

“I won’t believe it! Show yourself, there must be something that can be done,” said Riley, stamping her foot and balling her fists. Her blood was boiling and she was ready to fight. In the darkness a light flared. A tiny flame danced in mid-air. It was like a lantern, but one which needed no wick or oil. The flame grew brighter and started to cast brilliant light on the hut. She got her first look at the witch and she was nothing like Riley expected. She was tall and straight, with long golden locks. Her skin was as pure as an untouched snowfield and her smile was endearing. To look at her, you would bet she had no more than twenty years on this earth but there was something about her which made Riley believe she was much much older. Something she couldn’t put her finger on…yet.

“As you command, little one,” she said, with a slight bow and a good-natured smile.

“You said you felt it, how can that be?”

“The realm of magic is a sensitive one. When a spell is cast it sends out vibrations that can be felt by ones attuned to such things. The greater the cast, the bigger the ripples, the farther they travel,” she said, as if explaining the simplest thing ever.

“It’s still only a spell, and if a spell can be made, surely it can be broken?” she said.

“That, as it happens, is true.”

“Then why can’t you help us? Don’t you want to?”

“Want or not, has no bearing. This spell was cast by an accomplished wizard, of which there are only a few, and it takes time for such a spell to weaken.”

“How long? How much time?” asked Bo, speaking at last.

“Twenty, perhaps thirty years.”

“Our people can’t wait that long. Is there someone with more power than you?” demanded Riley, who had let her frustration and anger run away with her tongue.

“You’re being insolent, child,” said the Witch. Anger peppered her voice but the calm look remained glued to her face. Yet again, Riley sensed something unseen ripple through the woman. It was like another being lived under her skin.

“I mean no disrespect. Please, forgive me,” she said quickly, bowing her head. She knew she'd gone too far.

After a time, the witch spoke, “Such a spell could be removed, but only by the one who cast it. You could ask them…for all the good it would do you.”

“We don’t know who cast it, if we did, we would hunt him down and make them take it back,” said Riley letting her warrior lineage show in the strength of her words.

“Ah, this is something I can gladly help you with. The only one powerful enough to make such a spell, besides me, is Malten the Twisted, of Esker wood.”

“He can break it?”

“If he so chooses,” said the witch with a snooty tone.

“He’ll have no choice,” said Bo, rising to the sting of the mystic’s words.

“I wish you luck. He is one miserable creature,” said the witch, turning her back on them and the flame began to dim.

“Come on,” she whispered to Bo but her good upbringing made her bid the witch farewell.

“Thank you for your time, Lady. We are in your debt.”

“True,” said the witch quietly.

Bo and Riley had nearly reached the door when the woman spoke once more. “Before you go, I'll give you one piece of knowledge that may serve you in the future.” Riley stopped and turned to face the eerie woman now dappled in the half-light. “Sometimes the juiciest berries are found in the thickest thorn patch.” It was a piece of nonsense, but Riley bowed as if she had been given a great gift.

“I shall remember that, always.”

They left the house and the door shut by itself as they passed. They moved away as quickly as they could. It was only when they had reached scree-field did they look back at the hut.

"How could it be so huge inside," wondered Bo.

"Magic, I guess," she said, as they paused to catch their breath.

"I thought she would be older,” he said. Riley said nothing but she knew in her heart that the woman had not truly shown herself. The vision they'd seen was a mist thrown over their eyes by her magic. Her true self may have lived since the dawn of time. She knew they’d been lucky to get away from her unharmed. She'd seen a world of misery in the witch’s eyes and if truth be known, she feared they’d not seen the last of her.

***

Esker Wood is a place known to all, even to one as young as Riley. The reputation of the place is what made it so famous. Legend had it that the woodland was possessed by evil spirits and many people who entered the wood were never heard from again.

A sadness hung over the pair as they travelled. Riley failed to get the Witch to help, and now they were destined to face the Wizard who had lain their kin low. Although they ventured on, Riley felt as if she'd already failed. Something of her mood must have shown because Bo finally broached the subject.

“Are you alright? You seem distant?”

“No, I’m not. How did I believe I could accomplish this task? It’s too much!”

“It’s hard, but it's far from over. We’ve had a setback, that’s all. There is still hope.”

“Us? The hope of our families? That is as good as no hope at all.”

“I won’t listen to such talk, not after all we've done already.”

“Humph,” she said, her face said she was sulking. For the first time since leaving Lough Tully she was acting like a child and she didn’t care. Afterall, she was a child and this was no task for a little girl.

“Would a hopeless person face a three-day journey across dangerous and unknown lands?” asked Bo. She could tell by his tone he was annoyed with her. Well, let him be annoyed. Who did he think he was anyway to question her? She didn’t respond.

“Would a hopeless person stand firm against an attacking bear and be victorious?” he asked harshly.

Still, she wouldn't rise to the questioning, but silently she acknowledged he had a point. She had surprised herself in the moment with the bear. She felt the courage of her father run in her blood.

“Would a hopeless person climb a mountain to face a witch who is feared the length and breadth of the country?” This time Bo's tone was softer and that got to her.

“I guess not,” she mumbled into her chest.

“Do you take me for the kind of man who would place his life in a hopeless person’s hands?”

This surprised her. First, he referred to himself as a man and now that she looked at him, he was closer to that mark than a boy. Second, he looked at her as their leader. She hadn't given their ranking any great thought and had assumed they were simply on this quest together. 

“I hold your life?” she asked, the words were short, but the meaning was infinitely long.

“Of course, you’re my Chieftain now, and I'd follow you to the end of the earth. If you are hopeless, then what’s my existence worth?”

“I’d not thought of that.”

“You had better start. I need you, we all need you,” his voice was earnest, and he looked at her with nothing but trust in his eyes.

“Well then, we'll have to succeed this time. Malten will release our people if it’s the last thing we do,” she said, her drive renewed in the face of Bo’s belief.

“I have no doubt at all,” he said, smiling.

“There is just one thing,” she said, looking across at him as he rode alongside her.

“What is that?”

“I need you just as much, or more.” She watched the boy go red, as pride filled his chest.

They travelled till dark but were still a long way from Esker wood. The next morning, they rose with the sun and only paused twice to allow their mounts graze and take some water. Still they had to camp under the stars but they knew their goal wasn't far away. If truth be known, neither of them wished to take on that particular woodland by the light of the moon. Even the mid-day sun might not chase all the shadows from such a place.

When the sun rose again the air was even colder than it had been in the mountains of the north. As they rode on, the temperature continued to drop and soon they found themselves at the edge of the wood. It seemed the woods themselves was sucking the heat from the day? The edge of the forest was almost a sheer wall of intertwining branches. Ivy, Brambles and all manner of stinging shrubbery grew in the spaces between the tree trunks. The word impenetrable was made to describe this place.

Riley looked over at Bo and said, “Are you sure you want to follow me into this? I'd not think any less if you.”

He looked annoyed and healed his pony, forcing it into the gloom. The animal worried at its rains but he was well trained. Even if its eyes were wide with fear, it obeyed. Riley had to admit she was glad Bo went first because she wasn't sure she had the nerve to continue alone. Her horse took some persuading, but eventually it followed Bo into the darkness.

The wood was alive with sounds; frogs crooked, insects buzzed, birds twittered, wolfs barked and crows cawed in the canopy above their heads. So little light reached the forest floor that it was perpetually twilight. Mushrooms and toadstools sprouted from every available surface and mist made everything damp. Riley had no idea which way they were going, or where the Wizard might call home, but they keep moving ahead.

They might have been traveling in circles for all she knew; one section of wood looked much like the rest. Eventually she heard the thunder of water and knew she was in a place she hadn’t seen before. The trees cleared and a bluff appeared above them. They followed the sound and a waterfall appeared from the thicket. At the pool edge stood, a tidy timber cottage with a pig sty and livestock pens. It was a picture of happy industry.

"Do you think this is his?" he asked.

"It doesn’t look like a wizard's home to me. Probably belongs to a farmer or a woodsman's," she said.

"Why do you say that? It's the only place we've seen."

"Look at all the animals, and the vegetable garden. Why would a wizard have these things?"

"Because even wizards eat,” said a voice from behind them, making them both jump with fright.

"You scared us!" said Riley, holding a hand over her heart.

"And you invade my land without being invited," snapped the bent old man. Riley got herself together and dismounted. She looked at the old man and knew in her soul she'd found Malten the Twisted. He was well named.

"We've come seeking a powerful wizard who calls these woods home," she said, keeping her hate hidden in her heart. This was the creature who had hurt the ones she loved beyond life.

"Then you've found him. State your business quickly before I turn you into toads, like I've done countless times before."

Riley thought about all the croaking frogs she'd heard on their journey and wondered were each of them was an uninvited visitor? She hoped not. She looked at Bo and could see fear. Now was the moment she'd been born to carry; she knew it in her bones. It was time to act like a leader, not like a hurt child. She breathed in and exhaled her bitterness. 

"Did you bewitch my family?" she asked. The directness of the question threw the wizard off balance.

"If I did, I had a reason. Who are you girl?" he stammered.

"I'm Riley, daughter of Eoin the Red," she said, pride filling her words.

"Then I did, and I've no shame of the fact. He insulted me, and such a thing I will not abide." snapped the old man, sending his nose toward the sky.

"What terrible thing did he do which justifies such vengeance," demanded Riley.

"He invited all the great people to his feast, but not me. Me! The greatest of them all."

"That sounds nothing like my Father. If he had a problem with you, he would stand before you and speak it. My Father is the bravest of men," she said, standing toe to toe with the wizard and feeling every ounce his equal.

"Whatever you say won't take back his slight.”

"But you could take back what you did. There'll be no answers unless my Father speaks, and there is no possibility of that while he sleeps."

"I care not. Be gone before I lose my patience." said the magician, dismissing the children with a wave of his arm.

"We're going nowhere until you break your spell and release my family," she said, folding her arms in defiance.

"You'll have a long wait, little one,” he said, and shuffled past them toward his house and slammed the door behind him.

“What are we going to do now?” asked Bo. Riley looked at the old man's closed door and knew that no matter how much she wanted to force the old codger to release her people, she had no power over him. The witch had been right, if the wizard was going to do it, he had to want to do it.

“We keep trying. Let’s find a place to make camp and see what we can think of,” she said, trying to keep the weariness she felt from her words. During the night a saying her Mother had used many times came to her in a dream. You trap more wasps with honey then vinegar. When she woke, she knew what she had to do?

The next day, she stood outside the wizard’s house and knocked on the door. He opened it and glared out at her.

“What do you want?” he barked.

“We gathered mushrooms for breakfast, we thought you might like some,” she said holding out a bundle of snow-white fungi.

“Do you think a few mushrooms will change my mind?”

“I hope your heart will see the truth, but the mushrooms are a gift,” she said and laid them on his doorstep and walked away. She heard the door slam and turned around. She smiled when she saw the mushrooms had gone. Everyday Riley brought the wizard some new gift, foraged from the woodland. Every day, he slammed the door in her face but the gifts would still be taken. After two weeks, she was beginning to lose hope he'd ever lift the spell but she knew she must persevere.

One day, she and Bo found themselves close to the edge of the forest gathering blackberries. She reached among the thorny branches to retrieve a particularly juicy looking fruit and a vicious thorn opened her skin as cleanly as a knife.

“Oh, you wicked thing,” she said, as she sucked on the cut to dull the pain. That was when she remembered what the witch of the mountain had said. Sometimes the juiciest berries are found in the thickest thorn patch. She looked back toward the berry and was thinking of trying for it again when she noticed something white in the depths of the bush. Was the witch’s gibberish something important after all? She reached into the bush, the thorns tearing her skin, but she didn't care. She was nearly up to her shoulder when she grasped the piece of parchment. She pulled it free but her arm paid the price for her treasure. She unrolled the scroll and was amazed to see it carried her family seal. It was Malten’s invitation to her birthday feast. 

“Bo! Come quickly,” she cried, as she jumped up and down with excitement.

“What’s happened?” he asked, rushing through the undergrowth, his club held aloft.

“Look!” and she handed him the invitation. “He had been invited, and this is the proof! He'll have to listen to us now.”

Riley snatched the parchment from Bo’s hand and raced away toward the wizard’s house. She found him trying to net a trout from the pool. Even wizards have trouble trying to trick a fish.

“Look at what we found,” she said, thrusting the paper into his wrinkled hands. He squinted as he deciphered the words.

“It's a trick,” he said, and threw the paper to the ground. Riley rushed after it and snatched it up before it could blow into the water.

“It’s not a trick, I swear. I found it in a bush at the edge of the forest. Look, see where the thorns have ripped it, and the way the damp has made the writing run. It’s not a trick. You were invited!”

She could see the wizard face change as he processed this new information. He took the scroll back from her and slowly walked back to the hut. This time when he shut the door, he did so softly. Riley was heartbroken. Even though the wizard held proof in his hands he was not going to remove his curse. What more could she do to convince the man. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks and huge sobs racked her body. Bo put his arm around her shoulder and tried to comfort her.

When the wizard spoke from behind her, his words were soft. “The road will not get any shorter if we linger. Are you ready to go?” She looked up and he was wearing a long cloak and holding a walking-staff in his hand.

“Go?”

“To wake your friends. I think they've slept enough, don’t you?”

Riley jumped for joy and rushed away to gather her belongings. An hour later they were on the road for home, and the wizard seemed to have no problem keeping pace with them. Bo offered to give the wizard his horse but the man refused.

It took them a day and a half to reach Lough Tully, and Ruairi was waiting for them when they arrived. Riley rushed into his arms. “It’s so good to see you my princess, I have been worried.”

“Have they woken?”

“Not as much as a stir. I've made them as comfortable as possible and stood guard over them, but trouble is coming soon, I'm sure. Word has travelled of our misfortune and I fear we are in great danger.”

At this, the wizard moved forward and said, “Bring me to them.”

“Who is this?” whispered Ruairi.

“He's come to help,” she said with a smile.

When they reached the great hall, she saw that Ruairi had fashioned beds of straw for all who slept and laid them in straight lines. Riley rushed to her Mother, and Malten followed. He knelt beside her and from the folds of his cloak he withdrew a stoppered bottle. He let a single drop of liquid drip onto her lips and recited a charm in an ancient elfish. The wizard then did the same for her Father. Nothing happened.

“Why aren’t they waking?” she cried.

“It may take time. I cast this spell in anger which made it all the more powerful.” The old wizard looked at her sorrowfully and said, “I truly regret doing it.” It was an apology she never thought she would hear, but it still had not rescued her parents. Perhaps they would never wake from this slumber. What had the witch of the mountain said? Thirty or forty years? The old wizard shuffled on and repeated the procedure, and with nothing left to do, Bo lit a fire for them to sit by. When darkness fell, none of the sleeping people had stirred, and the wizard look crestfallen. In the darkness, Riley allowed herself to cry and imagine the worst. She had made it home, survived all her trials, and still she had failed. Eventually, exhaustion came to take her to a land of nightmares.

In her dreams, she was being attacked and her eyes shot open, only to feel her body being shaken for real. Was she still dreaming? She must be because her Mother’s face hovered over her.

“Why are you sleeping here, Riley. You should be in your bed,” she said, softly.

“You’re awake,” she cried, jumping up to throw her arms around her Mother's neck. As they hugged Riley saw lots of people rising from their cots, stretching the aches from their bodies. Most of them looked a bit bemused as to how they ended up in such a predicament. That was when Riley saw her Father sit up and rub his head.

“Father!” she cried, and few into his arms.

“Oh, my head,” he said, trying to shake the pain out of it. He looked at her and smiled. “When you turn ten, I think we'll have less of a party, or at least one where ale is banned.” From near the door; Bo, Ruairi and Malten looked on with joy in their hearts.


The little Queen had won her first great battle.





The End



Wednesday 4 January 2017

Mugged by Love

If you're to believe Hallmark, love is all hearts, flowers, teddy bears and kissing in the back row of the cinema. The truth of the matter is, its all these things and so much more. Love is so fantastic writers have been trying to describe it for years, with some moderate success.

If you're to ask me, love is like walking down the street with a Rolex on your wrist and a thousand Dollar suit on your back. Having said that, one day you will turn down the wrong alley and find betrayal, heartache, misery and abandonment, with baseball bats cocked, ready to turn your world inside out. 

On that day, love sucks.

If being in love as an adult is like being mugged by baseball bat swing lunatics, then being in love as a teenager is the equivalent of being dropped into the seventh ring of hell. Which brings me nicely along to the story I wanted to tell you tonight, my first love.

I was a very happy thirteen year old, school was good, I had friends and things were going fairly well. Most days what preoccupied my mind was which team might pick me for football at the break. All that changed in an instant. I innocently looked two rows ahead and one desk to the right. She picked that moment to look over her shoulder with her sparkling blue eyes, jet black hair, perfect smile and sun kissed skin. It was like being hit by a truck. She looked away having no idea that she'd just ruined my life, forever. 

I was in love.

Some people say hormones are to blame, and they might be right because something defiantly scrambled my brain and possessed my body. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before and it was horrible, amazing, but horrible. I dreamt of her, I rushed to school to see her, I couldn’t hear a love song on the radio without thinking of her. I was doomed, and I wasn’t alone.

The captain of the football team had also fallen under her spell, but unlike me, he had no problem talking to my angel. Months and months I spent staring at the back of her head hard enough to leave dents, while he could hold her hand, kiss her lips and God knows what else. It was heart-breaking. Then, the week before valentines the schoolyard gossip buzzed with news of the breakup of the century. My sweetheart was free. It was now or never, but I still dared not speak to her. I decided to send a valentines card instead, anonymous of course. 

That year, valentines coincided with our youth club meeting, a Friday night I will never forget. Surrounded by everyone I knew, the parish hall door opened and in she walked. For the first time she looked me straight in the eye. She was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. She looked amazing. She walked right up the middle of the room, never taking her eyes from mine and stopped in front of me. The words that came from her lips are burned forever in my memory.

“Thanks for the card.”

With that, she turned and walked back toward the door. There, waiting for her with his arms folded over his chest and a smile on his face was El Captain. They walked out together and I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I still hadn't said a word to her, a fact which would never change.

So, there you have it. My first brush with the dreaded four letter word. You might be forgiven for thinking I am a cynic, or bitter, but I am far from that. If anything I'm the ultimate romantic. Despite knowing all the pitfalls I still hope for another taste of love. The reason is simple, getting to wear a Rolex and a thousand Dollar suit, if even for a day, is worth it.


Friday 16 December 2016

Today without Tomorrow










What would you do if there were no tomorrow?









Most of us never give the future a second thought, we assume its coming, and there will be plenty for all we wish to achieve.

What if you knew there was going to be no tomorrow, or even a limited amount of them? What would you do differently should you know the last date on your calendar?

Would you change the big things or concentrate on the little?
Would you do something for another or something for yourself?
Would you chase a goal or live for the moment?
Would you give rather than receive?
Would you hold a hand, love a lover, kiss for the longest time, smile, dance, play or sing?
Would you make your dreams come true or be the dream to another?
Would you make the world you're leaving better or grab the last moments for yourself?


Tomorrow is never guaranteed. We may have a thousand, we may have none. It is only when we think about such a possibility can we truly judge the importance of what we do. It is only in the light of finality that we can weigh action against the outcome. Too often I think we get caught up in the delusion of infinity which blinds us to the true treasures in life. 


Take a look at your day and ask yourself, is this want I'd do with my last? 

Wednesday 7 December 2016

Let it Snow

Sometimes memories are connected to the strangest of things. It might be a smell, or a particular sound or something else entirely that whisks you back to a moment in time which will live with you forever. One such thing for me is snow, and seeing those first fluffy white crystals falling from the dark clouds above. I know most people love; it reminds them of snowball fights and building snowmen and frozen fingers. It reminds me of those things as well but also another more precious memory. 

When I was growing up, things in Ireland were particularly tough. Interest rates on mortgages had reached as high as twenty percent, and a huge amount of people were out of work. My Dad had a good job in a factory, but when the government benefits ran out for the owners, they simply pulled out and left hundreds of people high and dry.

I was only small, six or perhaps seven, and although we never wanted for anything, even I noticed how tight things were. We had to sell our nice big house and move to an old cottage, further out in the country. It was basic, to say the least. No running water, no central heating, there wasn't even a toilet; but that didn't matter to me. It was all one big adventure. The great thing about being small is you don't care how new your clothes are, or if your shoes had an owner before you. The only thing you want is to be loved, to have fun and feel safe. I had all of those things in abundance.

It wasn’t so easy on the grownups. Now that I’m older, I know they wanted to give us the best of things, and when they couldn’t, it hurt. That time was very hard on my Dad in particular, who was doing everything he could to keep bread on the table. For a while, he had no car and had to thumb or walk where ever he needed to go in search of work.

This particular year, Christmas was coming, and I can tell you we were as excited as any kids in the country, just dying to see what Santa would bring. By the time Christmas Eve rolled around I’m sure we were stretching every nerve our parents possessed. Then it happened; snow!

Some of what happened I remember, and some my Mom told me years later, but as soon as the snow began to stick, my Dad vanished. Night fell, and he still hadn't returned. I remember going to bed half excited about Santa coming and half worried about Dad. When the morning came, which might have been the middle of the night, because what kid can sleep late on Christmas morning, we found a huge timber sledge under the tree. It was big enough to take all three of us; it had a rope handle for pulling it and tin runners to make it fly down the snow-covered slopes. We nearly never get snow over here, so I would bet we were the only children with a toboggan that Christmas morning.

What we didn't know was that Dad had gone to our old house as soon as the snow began. He walked there, a journey of nine miles. He might not have been able to buy us much, but he was a wizard with his hands. In our old shed, he spent that whole dark night building us a once in a lifetime gift. I’ve always pictured him, trudging through the freezing night, dragging the sledge home for us.
  
That is the image that comes to my mind every time it snows, and I can honestly say, no children ever had better parents. Thanks Dad. 

Thursday 24 November 2016

Thanksgiving and Stuff

I wanted to wish all my friends in America (and Canada for that matter) a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope you really enjoy the holiday.

So, on the drive home from work, I began thinking about that word, Thanksgiving, and being thankful in general. I asked myself if I had to point at one thing that I was truly thankful for, what would it be?

I started running through the list of stuff which might make the top ten list:

I am thankful for the roof over my head. Sure it could be bigger or newer, but I love it, and it's mostly mine.

I am thankful for the fact I have a good job, but sometimes I would love a wee holiday.

I am thankful for my health, its good, not great but I have all the bits I started out with.

I am thankful for my friends, the few I have are cool people, and I like them.

I am thankful for my writing, its fun and I have gained more satisfaction from it than most deserve.

I am thankful for my family, the best a man could ever have but I would imagine most would say that about theirs.

I am thankful for the few euro in my pocket, it's a few more than many have.

I am thankful for the food in my belly, and the stuff still in the fridge.

I am thankful for my dogs, the best four-legged little hunger machines you have ever encountered.

I am thankful for the loves I've had in my life, and that none of them has treated me too bad.

I am thankful for the peaceful time I live in, I know not everywhere, but in this place, at this time, things are cool.


I considered all of these, and yes, I am very very grateful for them all, but none of them stood out as the thing I would shake God's hand for giving me. Honestly, I might well be just as happy with less or still unhappy if I had more.

I changed the question and asked myself, what is the one thing, that one tiny thing, which would make it all useless if it were taken away?

I came up with only one answer for that one.

Tomorrow.

So, I would like to thank whatever great creator there exists for the fact there is going to be a tomorrow. A day where I can find a new love, make a new friend, tell my family I'd pick no other, remember the good times, make sense of the bad ones, help another find a roof, share a euro where it's needed, pass on a little knowledge, spread some peace and leave this place better than when I found it.

That would be a fantastic tomorrow.

Oh!! I nearly forgot. Holly and Lofty, my dogs, both get as many belly rubs as they want.


Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and to you all a wonderful tomorrow.

Squid

Thursday 17 November 2016

Poison

She looked at me with those huge almond-shaped eyes of hers, her face unreadable, and waves of pure innocence radiated from them. She moved closer, causing the leather seat to groan with pleasure as it flexed beneath her bare skin. Her irises were deep brown, with tiny flecks and imperfections, and to me, they were bottomless pools of happiness. Our faces were only inches apart, I could feel her breath play across my skin. She inhaled, making the gold chain I'd given her, twinkle in the reflected light of the dashboard. She rolled her bottom lip and bit down on it, making tiny indents on the cherry red skin.

How many times had I tasted those lips? She was a flavour I would die for. Love made my heart hammer at my chest but my mind was filled with doubt. I wanted to be in this moment forever, and at the same time, something screamed at me to run. The magnificence of her eyes held me in a wordless stupor, while her scent invaded my body and dulled my senses.

“I need you,” she whispered, her voice husky with sex. My pulps expanded to their maximum so I wouldn’t miss an ounce of her beauty.

“You’re the only one I can trust,” she said, cupping my face with tender fingers. Her long lashes fluttered as she closed in on me with aching slowness. Sparks of desire crackled in my brain, threatening to send me insane, and then, at last, our lips collided and I was hers.

All too soon she pulled away. I was ravenous for her and tried to draw her toward me but she resisted. She leaned across and opened the car door. Outside, the night was crisp, illuminated by a full moon. A lane ran up the hill, finishing in front of a huge house. I looked back at her and thought I saw something. For a moment she seemed older, colder, but then I looked again and she was my love once more.

“I'll be yours forever,” she said and smiled. I looked down at the blade in my hand and knew I was powerless to resist. I had to have her and this was the only way. Afraid to look back, afraid to pause, I hurried into the unknown.

The building seemed to fly toward me like a living thing. The doorknob turned silently in my hand, just as she’d promised it would. On weightless feet, I glided up the stairs and paused at the top. To the right was the half-open door which flooded the darkness with deep animal-like snores. The sound was fitting for the beast which nested within. I tightened my grip on the blade and felt my gut knot with hate. I didn’t have to look inside to witness the vast bloated body, floundering in a sea of silk sheets. She'd described the scene to me a hundred times, my mind endured what she endured and my soul was as tarnished as hers.

The sounds he made conveyed every slobbering twitch of his jowls while he grunted his way through debauched dreams. In the darkness, my ears had become my eyes, and I could see all. I could see the monster forcing himself on her, defiling her in unnatural ways, revelling in her shame.  How many times had she described her torment at his hands? How had she survived? Had she survived? I’d lost count of the times we'd made love, while tears glistened on her perfect face. Once, as she lay collapsed on my chest, she'd said she’d always known I'd come to save her.

I watched the moonlight dance on the edge of the blade and imagined driving it deep into his gut. How I wanted to send that bastard straight to hell for what he’d done to her. I knew I’d be doing the world a favour, but she insisted the weapon should not to be used. The knife was just a threat, should anything go wrong.  

The door on the left was her dressing room. A royal bounty of clothes to make a prisoner into a queen. I moved as quietly as a cat, but the door gave a tiny squeal. I froze, listening. The pig grunted once, then once again, before settling back into a deafening slumber. Inside the dressing room, the walls were lined with rails which groaned under couture gowns. The deep rosewood drawers held a thousand treasures, but I sought only one. I knelt and eased open a door which looked like all the others.  The cold steel face of the safe was hidden inside. The only thing the beast guarded more diligently than his queen, was his gold.

When she'd left the house earlier, she'd told him her sister was ill in hospital. Unfortunately, that meant she couldn’t get her valuables out of the house. He checked the contents of the safe every night. One more way he had of keeping her chained to him. We need time to disappear or he would chase her down; this is why I find myself sneaking into the house in the dead of night. A new life is expensive, and these are her jewels, she'd paid for them in blood and tears.

As I readied myself to enter the code, I pulled some dresses from the rail. She’d said the safe would beep and that I should use something to hide the noise.  I typed in the number she had given me and twisted the handle. The door opened easily. Inside were fist-sized bundles of money lying on a small mountain of black-satin bags.

“What the blazes are you doing?” snarled a whisky roughened voice behind me.

The beast was awake! I barrelled my way through the dark and collided shoulder first with his flabby stomach. I heard the air whoosh through his mouth and imagined his multiple chins wobbling.

Run. Run. Run!!! My mind screamed, and thankfully, my leg’s obeyed.  

I was at the top of the stairs when all the lights came on. I saw her standing in the hall below, looking up at me. Why had she followed? Had she come to warn me he was awake? Run my love, I thought. In that instant, an explosion filled the air and fire ripped through my back. I was hurled into the void and began to drop. Time slowed down and I saw the edge of the step rise up toward me. It crashed into my neck and I heard the bones snap. Step after step assaulted me until the cold marble floor delivered the final blow.

I lay twisted at an impossible angle, with my sweetheart looking down on me. Her face was calm and radiant; I tried to extend an arm but my body wouldn't respond.

“Careful, he’s got a knife!” cried the beast from the top of the stairs.

“I don’t think he is any danger, well, not anymore,” she said, her tone flat. She must be in shock, I thought. I tried to tell her I was alright but I only managed to cough up some blood.

“I’m calling the police,” he said.

“I’ll do it,” she said. “You get some clothes on before they get here.”

That’s my girl, I thought. Give us time to get away. I tried to smile at her, and I think I managed it. She walked forward, hunkered down, and reached for me.

“I’m just winded,” I managed to whisper. She smiled, but her hand didn’t take mine. Instead, she took the knife and walked into the kitchen. I heard the water running for a second, and when she appeared, she was drying her hands on a tea towel. Again, she hunkered down. I couldn’t understand what she was doing, but I hoped she had a plan. I watched her take the cordless phone from its cradle, but she didn’t dial anything. It was time to get away from here.

“Help me up,” I groaned, the words were agony to get out, and more coughing came. This time I managed to raise my hand and was shocked to see it covered in blood. I could feel the heat rushing from my body and knew that must be bad. She shuffled back a step, avoiding my fingers, but her eyes were soft and innocent. She watched me, the phone dangling from her fingers. First her head cocked left, then right, before she punched three numbers and lifted the phone to her ear. She waited in silence.

I heard a click and it was as if that noise changed her into a different person. She bellowed and screamed at the person on the other end of the line; saying in between heaving sobs, “Please, please hurry. My husband shot him! He’s dead! He’s dead!" There was more sobbing before she choked out the address and then started to scream, “No, no, no, no! Don’t kill me! Don’t kill…” then she smashed the phone on the marble floor.

As quickly as she became agitated, she became calm again. I couldn’t feel my legs; my head was swimming and I could feel my heart hammering a mile a minute in my chest. I tried to speak, but no words would come. In some ancient part of my brain a realisation struck. She was like one of those beautiful mushrooms, the ones with fantastic colours, they promised bliss but delivered only poison.

As darkness crept across my vision, I saw her run her hands through my blood. She smeared it on her face and clothes, then ripped open her blouse and bashed her head viscously three times against the edge of a hall table. With the last ounce of life in my body, I forced my eyes to stay open. Her beautiful face was already beginning to swell when she said, “I knew I could count on you.”

She smiled, and I longed to taste those amazing lips, those poison lips, one last time.

“What the hell is going on?” roared the beast from above. She turned her face up with a scowl, flipped him the finger, the calmly walked out into the night. 

If you liked this little tale, you would love the book. Click the link to take a look.

Sunday 6 November 2016

Why?

Wall Street. It's the centre of the universe, or at least it is to men like Andrew Bergen.

The day was over, the trades had all been made, and once that final bell sounded, the universe slept once more until Andrew, and his ilk prodded it into life anew.

He loved the thrill of the trade, the rush having millions of dollars pass through his fingers. A buy here, a sell there, dispensed with a flick of his pen. Whenever he was tossing in the maelstrom of the trading floor, he felt truly alive. His blood surged, his mind hummed with electrical current fizzing from his nerve endings as he calculated each possible outcome. A rush like that can only last for so long, and like every high, the accompanying low is devastating. It was the end of the day that killed him, the tumble from such a lofty realm sucked the marrow from his bones. Drained, deflated and dejected he filled out his returns, dotted his I's and crossed his t's, before joining the thousands of faceless drones leaving the city.

As he was spat out onto the street by the revolving door of his office, his end of day doom seemed even worse than usual. Was this all there was to it? Was this what life was? An endless series of days chasing wisps of greatness? Why did winning feel so hollow? He felt smothered and looked around for somewhere to catch his breath.

While Wall Street is synonymous with wealth and success, the actual street fails to impress. It is narrow, overcast, without a tree or a blade of grass to be seen. The real display of power sits at its confluence with the mighty Broadway. Trinity Church. Andrew looked at the spire rising high above him and felt in need of enlightenment. He trudged toward it, carrying his seven hundred dollar briefcase, and wearing a thousand dollar suit, but he was lost in a vast sea of similar men. He mounted the steps and paused just shy of the top. As his foot hovered over the threshold he felt like a fraud, it had been years since he'd been to a service and in the end, he contented himself with sitting on the top step.

City life is strange. Everyone always has someplace to go, always in a rush. Andrew became acutely aware he had abandoned the herd as soon as his keister touched the cold stone. In the city that never sleeps, he dared stop for no reason at all. He could sense others veer away as they passed this strange seated man in a suit, afraid whatever aliment afflicted him might jump their way.

"I'm Sophie, what's your name?" a high confident voice floated in the air. He looked around and standing behind him was a little girl dressed in dungarees, with ruby red shoes, and blond hair falling over her shoulder in a ponytail. She may have been five or even six, but her words were as well formed as any he'd heard while working. A lady stood beside the tiny girl having one of those New York phone conversations, loud and unabashed because she was as good as alone among a sea of strangers. The lady held the little girl's hand firmly, but that was where her attention finished.

Sophie extended her chubby little hand and smiled. She held it there, undaunted, as Andrew wondered what he should do. In the end, social compunction drove him forward. He gripped her tiny fingers softly and gave the hand two good shakes and said "Andrew." It was his boardroom handshake. Why had he given this little girl his boardroom hand shake?

"Why are you sitting down? Are you tired?" she asked simply and regarded him with incredibly old eyes.

"Yes, a bit. It's been a long day."

"Me too. I go to school, over there," she said pointing toward some point that made sense in her mind.

"Excellent," said Andrew hoping this kid would leave it at that.

"Where do you go to school?"

"I don't, I work," said Andrew feeling compelled to answer.

"Where?"

"Down there," he said pointing along the winding length of Wall Street.

"What do you do?" she asked and tilted her head to one side.

"It's hard to explain," he said not wanting to try and dumb down his job for some kid he didn't even know.

"Do you make something?"

This kid wasn't going to give up. "I make money, sweetie."  As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew the answer was far too glib for a five-year-old, it had gotten him plenty of attention from tanked up twenty-five-year-olds, but for Sophie, the answer seemed too childish.

"Wow, you're the man who makes Dollars!" her tiny face exploding with excitement.

"I don't actually make them, I sell things and buy things."

Sophie’s smile slipped a bit, "You work in a store?"

"Not a store, it’s complicated."

"Why?" she asked her smile vanishing and her look becoming serious. Andrew turned slightly on his step to face the little girl.

"It's like this. People give people like me money. I take that money, and I buy stock, and when I think the time is right, I sell that stock to somebody else and I make money."

"Sounds easy."

"Sure does, but it’s hard to do right."

"What do people do with stock?"

"They don't do anything, they sell it to someone else."

"Everyone is buying and selling the same stuff all the time? Stuff you don't do anything with?"

"I guess."

"That's silly," she said smiling.

"It's not silly, it's called commerce, it's what keeps the world working. You will learn about it one day."

"But nobody makes anything, how do you get stuff?"

"I buy things with the money I make, lots of stuff."

"Like in a store?"

"Yea."

"It's making my head hurt," said Sophie with a sad smile.

"Mine too sometimes. Commerce is just math really."

"I'm good at math, but my teacher is terrible," said Sophie sticking out her bottom lip a little bit.

"Why do you think that?"

"Yesterday she asked me if I had three apples and I got two more at the store, how many apples would I have? I told her three, but she said I was wrong."

"The answer is five apples," said Andrew helpfully.

"No, the answer is, I don't like apples, so I'd buy oranges in the store. I'd still have three apples, but I'd eat the oranges because they are yummy!" said Sophie rubbing her belly and licking her lips.

Andrew's face cracked wide open with a laugh, and he slapped his knee. "You're one clever girl."

She leaned in conspiratorially and cupped her hand over her mouth as she whispered, "I know."

She looked at him seriously and said, "I have an idea."

"What is it?" he asked charmed an intrigued by this little creature.

"You should build a machine that makes hours. Mom says there's never enough hours. You could sell them to the stock people."

"That is a great idea, you could help me build it."

"I can't, silly," she giggled.

"Why?"

"I'm only five," she laughed and smiled her knowing smile.


At that moment Sophie's Mom finished her call and tugged on the girl's arm without even looking at who she was talking too. "Come on Sophie, we're late."

"See," called the little girl happily as she was hauled down the steps and into the flow of people, "told ya!"

Andrew watched the little blond head bob away into the distance, skipping by her mother's side and he realised that his cloud of doom was gone. He began the walk to the subway with a grin a mile wide. Step by step he replayed the conversation in his mind. The more he thought about what she had said, the more sense it made. Layer on layer of truth began to appear in such simple questions. Was this the reason for his unending conflict of emotions? He scratched his head in wonder and as insane as it seemed, he was sure he'd just bumped into one of the most incredible people on the planet.

With his whole life laid bare on a slab before him, there seemed to be only one question that needed answering.


Why?

Monday 24 October 2016

Stopped in My Tracks by the Moon

Tonight is a perfectly calm, crisp and cloudless night in Kerry. I finished up in the pub, did all my bobs and jobs before driving home as normal. The roads were empty, and the temperature gauge on my car showed a brisk two degrees. The way I come takes me over a low hill, from the top of which you can see right across the valley to the hills in the distance. Tonight when I rounded that last bend, something spectacular was waiting for me.

A huge crescent moon hung just above the floor of the valley, in a night sky so dark, it may as well be painted black. It looked as if the moon was hanging directly over a tiny town in the distance, shining down on it in utter brilliance. The whole scene was serene and otherworldly. I know this is a trick of the atmosphere, bringing the moon so close you think you could touch it, but I really did feel that way. Right there at that moment, the universe held up a tiny part of its beauty to be compared alongside the work of man, and our efforts looked puny in comparison.

I pulled the car over and got out. It was amazing! Then I did the same idiot thing everyone seems to do these days, I took out my phone and tried to take a photo of it. After a few shaky looking snaps of a bright dot in the sky, I realised I was an idiot and put the phone away. I stood there for a good ten minutes, undisturbed by even one other car and watched this huge astral artwork move slowly skyward.

When I eventually got back in my car, I knew I had seen something very special, and the only sad part was, I had nobody there with me to share the experience. I may have been the only person in this part of the world, who saw that moon, from that angle, at that moment, and that knowledge made me sad. I wanted to wake everyone I knew up and let them see what I had seen, I wanted to be able to share that moment with someone special, it may well have acted as a wedding ring for the soul, but that wasn't meant to be.

So what better way to celebrate the gift's of the heavens than with music.




Here are the crappy phone shots just to prove how silly amazing things look when we view the world through a phone.



(This one was taken lower down the valley closer to the village.)



Thursday 20 October 2016

Poker Face

God, weddings can be the most boring and drawn out things in the world, particularly the speeches. I nearly lose the will to live when I see a microphone being passed to a nervous father of the bride. All that changed the day Bridie and Eamon got married. That wedding was an extra torturous occasion where seating was directed by a table plan. It’s not so bad if you're a couple, but at Eamon's wedding, I was that awkward single workmate so I was plonked on the, Nobody Knows Them Table, all the way at the back, but at least it was near the bar.

When we were called in, I pulled out my chair and sat to the right of two elderly ladies who turned out to be spinster sisters. They were lovely, in a sipping sherry kind of way. At the other side of me were a couple who seemed to be fighting; talk about frosty. Thank God there were a few younger people at the table as well.  

Grace was said, and the and meal started. As the courses vanished, it became clear that, Brian, one of the younger men, was determined to be the centre of attention. He had a good few pints under his belt and was dominating the conversation while his much younger girlfriend tried to set a world record for free wine top-ups. The other dominant force at the table was, Fiona, who clearly knew Brian for years. Fiona was gorgeous and bubbly, if not the sharpest chisel in the box. Her boyfriend, Tony, smiled in all the right places, laughed at all the right jokes, but seemed a little distant. It was around the dessert time I found out why. It seemed, Brian and Fiona had a short-lived relationship in college. While they seemed comfortable with this, Tony clearly wasn't. Fiona didn’t help the situation when she laughingly grabbed Brian's arm to stop him recounting some saucy tidbit from their past. As tea was served, a hotel manager appeared behind the best man with a microphone in his hand.

"Oh Lord, the speeches are starting," I said out loud, my words heavy with impending doom.

"Great stuff!" said Brain and he pulled an empty wine glass toward him. "Are yea all up for a game of, The Groom Thanks."

"What's that?" I asked as Brian rifled through his wallet.

"It's easy," he said, waving a ten euro note in the air. "Yea put a tenner in the glass. Every time the groom says the word, Thanks, during his speech, the glass moves one place to the right. Whoever the glass is in front of at the end of his speech, wins the money."

It sounded like a bit of fun so I said, "Count me in," and I added my note to the glass. Fiona had hers in like a flash, Tony reluctantly put his money in, the warring couple said nothing but the man stuffed a twenty in, the spinsters had a quick discussion among themselves about the evils of gambling but still added a tenner between them; they would count as one person. Then everyone looked at Brian's girlfriend but her head was swivelling around like an orange perched on top of a toothpick and her eyes were glassy. She hadn’t a clue what was going on.

"Don't mind her," said Brian dismissively as she slumped against his shoulder.

The speeches started and we had to endure the priest, the father of the bride, the father of the groom, Aunty Peggie; whoever the hell that was, and the best man before it was time for Eamon to speak.

"Here we go," said Brian gleefully, pulling the glass in front of himself which caused a giggle of excitement to emanate from Fiona. Tony gave her a sideways and I could see why. Even to my ears, the sound was vaguely sexual.

"Why does the glass have to start with you?" Tony asked frostily.

"I was the first to put money in."

"That’s hardly fair."

"Fair me arse. Anyway, it's where the glass ends up that counts," Brian said, clearly sick of being questioned.

"Now comes the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let's hear it for the man himself, Mr Eamon Ryan." said the best man, passing over the microphone, a movement that caused a burst of feedback.

"Jesus," said Eamon when the screeching died down. He glanced over at the priest who was glaring at him. "Sorry, Father." The room was filled with the sound of rustling of paper while Eamon got his notes in order before he raised the mic to his lips and said, "How yea," in a thick bog accent that got the whole room cheering. "Thanks for coming."

"And we’re off," hooted Brian as he moved the glass to his right.

"I never thought I would see the day ..."

I have to admit I started to zone out after a while, that was until Brian thumped me on the shoulder.

"What?" I asked.

"He just thanked some auld bat who taught him in primary school. Yea got to pay attention and move the fecking glass around."

"Oh, I missed that one," I said, shoving the glass toward the two spinsters who eyed the money like a hungry dog eyeing up steak. So much for the evils of gambling.

"I want to thank the bridesmaids for looking ..."

"Whoop! There is another one! Move it on girls, come on now," teased Brian as a sad looking spinster shoved the glass in front of the grumpy married man. It had hardly stopped moving when Eamon said, "I don't know how Bridie would have done it without yea, Thanks." The man shoved the glass in front of his misses, and gave her a filthy look, as if she’d somehow cheated him out of it.

"I want to thank Father Tom for ..."

The glass moved on again.

All through the speech, the glass moved. I have to say it was getting very addictive. We hung on Eamon's words, waiting for that magic one. When he said it, a low cheer ran around our table. Even the spinsters were joining in with the fun but it was Brian and Fiona who were leading the charge. People were starting to notice what we were at.

"Th....(schreeech!)" Whatever Eamon tried to say was blotted out by a burst of feedback, but he powered through. "…as she searched every shop in Ireland for pink roses, so thanks a million." The glass moved in front of Tony, but Brian shot out his hand and grabbed the stem. "He said thanks twice there, it's got to go one more.”

"I only heard one," said Tony, trying to pull the glass back.

"Nope, there were two. One just before the static, then one at the end."

"Hang on a minute, he only got a t out. It could have been anything."

"What else could it be, for flip sake."

"Think, threw, timed, tempted, tits; who fucken knows!"

"Nobody says tits in a wedding speech," said Brian, deliberately not seeing Tony's point, and moved the glass back in front Fiona. Reluctantly, Tony let go, but the mood at the table was very much darker from then on. Tony didn't join in with the cheering as the glass moved, which seemed to make Fiona determined to make up for him.

Ten minutes later, and a thousand thanks, Eamon was drawing to a close. "So, to finish, I want to raise a glass to my beautiful bride and thank her from the bottom of my heart for having me." Everyone in the room stood, and our table was on tenterhooks because the glass now rested in front of Tony who smiled for the first time since the barney with Brian. It looked like he was going to claim the cash.

"Right, the bar is open, and the band is ready to go, so let's have at it. Have a great night everyone and Thanks again."

Eamon put the mic down on the table, and with a half-sad face Tony moved the glass in front of Fiona, which caused Fiona and Brian to cheer at the top of their voices. Lots of people looked in their direction, including Eamon, who thought they were cheering his speech. Sure enough, he picked up the mic and said, "Thanks, Lads!"

Another huge cheer came from Brian because the glass moved one last time and was now in front of him. He grabbed it and held it aloft like a conquering hero.

"Ah, hang on! That's not fair!" said Tony.

"He said thanks!" said Brian, waving the folded money in Tony's face.

"The speech was over."

"No, it wasn't, but it is now," sneered Brian.

"And that other thing earlier, if that were any other word besides thanks, the glass would have ended up in front of Fiona, not you!" he said, his eyes ablaze. I sensed trouble was coming so I shoved my chair back from the table.

"Come on guys, it's only a game," said Fiona.

"You stay out of it," snapped Tony. I saw the shocked look on her face as she glared at her boyfriend.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You've been drooling over this moron all evening, I'm sick of it. Just because you let him shag yea in college," snarled Tony. I knew a line had been crossed.

"What did you say?" said Fiona, coldly.

"What did you call me?" demanded Brian, getting up from the table. In the process, he dislodged his drunken girlfriend who woke for the first time since the speeches began.

"I said, you shagged him!" yelled Tony, pointing an accusing finger at Brian while glaring at his own girlfriend. Everyone in the room was now watching. Oh, God, why was I put at this table, I asked myself.

From nowhere the slurred word, "Bitch!" rang out and a haymaker of a puck sent Fiona sliding across the floor on her arse. The whole world then seemed to go into slow motion as Brian’s drunken girlfriend launched herself after Fiona. Pure flipping pandemonium.  

Well there you have it. That’s how the battle began. It took two squad cars and a half dozen bouncers to bring order back to the wedding. The bride was inconsolable; Brian’s girlfriend was hauled off in handcuffs, Fiona was taken away in the back of an ambulance, and I never found out what happened to the money. I have to say it was one of the best weddings I’ve ever been at.


Thinking back on it all has left me with one golden piece of advice for anyone thinking of getting married, and this is it. No matter what you do, never make a table plan. If you do, you’ll regret it. You can bet on that.